I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
