my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
