If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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