I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
