Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Come share oat with me in your robe
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize