I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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