So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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