im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
