Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
