The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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