The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
