i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
