News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
