I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she peed on how many people?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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