In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
