Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
