Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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