There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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