White coat. Heels.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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