Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
