I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
