Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
