he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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