I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
