We're like a lot better than the average bears
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
