did you get engaged???
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's just like the Real World with babies
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
