I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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