Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
