It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
