see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
