it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
