I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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