I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
