woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
