you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
