i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
