Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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