So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
