I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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