your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
