how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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