i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize