if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
