About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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