im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
