I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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