her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
