Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
