I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
