He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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