Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We were destined to go to rehab together
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
