fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
