it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
