do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
