I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
