i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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