they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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