Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize