Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
