He is an equal opportunity slut.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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