direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
