she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize