4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
