it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize