it wasn't lemon gatorade
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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