No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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