Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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