they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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