im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
