yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
