Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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