I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
