Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
