Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
