If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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