either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sorry my hands just texted you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
