She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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