I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
