smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
