sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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